I did a DISC assessment recently and was going to over the results with the facilitator and she said, “You are very concerned with making mistakes.”
Some people might call this perfectionism, but I think of it as more of fear of failure mixed with an aversion to looking stupid.
I’m taking this valuable information and looking around my life and seeing where this might be showing up. Asking the questions, “Where am I holding myself back because I don’t want to look stupid?” and “What am I not doing or saying because I might make a mistake?”
Ironically, my word of the year is fearless, so there’s been a lot of looking around in 2021. ?
Fear is a funny thing cause it shows up in so many ways. For me, it’s procrastination; staying quiet or lashing out – but not speaking what I really feel in a kind and clear way; and under valuing myself.
Question for you: Where is fear holding you back?
From a dream? A belief? An experience?
I love this quote: You never fail. You either win or you learn.
Sounds great in theory but making mistakes and not accomplishing what you set out to do, feels kinda shitty. It’s much easier to NOT do something so we can avoid that icky feeling.
But we can spend our WHOLE lives avoiding that icky feeling, and all that really means is that we have a different icky feeling because we’re unhappy inside or something is off or we’re holding back.
The trick is moving through the making a mistake/failing to do the LEARNING and growing part.
I never played sports, but I think of it how in movies when the coach will re-watch a game with the team to analyze what worked and didn’t. I’m sure there’s moments of wishing things went differently, especially with a loss, but the whole point of that is to see and understand at a deeper level what’s going on and how that played out in real time so adjustments can be made going forward.
How come we’re not taught this in our personal lives with experiences that don’t go the way we want them to? We’re taught to be ashamed, to feel guilty to say sorry or to figure out how to rectify. Think about what happens when a kid takes a toy from a friend, “You should know better! Say sorry!! And give that toy back to him.”
But what about self-analysis to create a new play call?
We’re not really taught how we can shift and create a new way of doing things so we can be who we want to be.
We are a series of becomings.
We’re always evolving, but most of the time this happens because our roles change – we become spouses, parents, take a new job as a manager/director, become an entrepreneur…
I’m here to tell you, whatever is next for you in your life can be self-directed. We’re never a “finished project” (this is a theme from the book Still Life with Breadcrumbs by Anna Quindlen), so why not be more active in what that means for you?
Fear is what will stifle your becoming.
In my new 6 week group program, I’ll help you with developing that new play call. If you don’t know what to eat that’s healthy; lack confidence in the kitchen or want to exercise a bit more, then talk to me about Be the Boss of Your Body.
This is going to be fun!!! I’m going to do a cooking class and you’ll get a 1:1 coaching call with me. Maybe you’re not sure what that even means, so during the call we’ll spend some time going over your goals and the challenges. We create a plan and then you’ll have 6 weeks of support.
My clients typically put everyone else first, love to be social and care genuinely and deeply about their people. They would go to the ends of the earth to make sure someone else has what they need to be successful but find themselves eating foods that make them feel like crap. And it’s frustrating cycle of trying to do better.
If this is you, then I would love to have you join me. ? Let’s break that cycle!
Don’t let fear hold you back… fear of time or money or uncertainty. I won’t tell you not to be afraid or feel cautious because those would be empty reassurances. Rather, do it anyway. You can be afraid AND do the thing. (I’m sure this is what you would tell your kids!).
We start on October 4 and the investment is $325. But if you sign up before September 27 and use the coupon code “READY,” you can get the early bird price of $299.
Plus an in-person Grocery Store Tour (seriously this is a great bonus)!! Just make sure you sign up before September 27.
May you be active in your becoming. May you be fearless in your own way. May you always be excited about learning and growing. May you live with no ragrets!! ?
Many hugs,
Laura
