We like to use “conversation” cards during family dinner. This week, we had “describe a perfect day” and I asked my boys (who are 15 and 12) to list mine. It was crazy, cool how the responses were pretty much my life right now.
Working out, being with clients in the gym and online, focusing on my business, walking the dog (or being in nature), writing, drinking coffee, and of course spending time with my family. It makes me smile and feel proud reading that!
Because it wasn’t always that way.
I used be a web and graphic designer, but I became so tired of deadlines and being figuratively chained to a computer for hours and hours at time. I knew what I didn’t want.
To get here (to the ideal) took a deliberate focus on CREATING new ways of being.
Read that again… a deliberate focus on creating new ways of being.
If you don’t like something in your life, here are a few questions:
Who do you want to be?
How do you want to be?
What are you running from?
What are you moving toward?
What is your ideal?
How does this ideal person spend his or her time?
Who are you with?
What does it feel like?
Can you write this down, so that you’ll know when you’re “there?”
You Can Create New Ways of Being
The reason why identifying your ideal is worth it is because even if you change your circumstance or environment, if you have’t focused on a new way of being then you are going to repeat the pattern.
“How you do one thing is how you do everything.”
When I transitioned from my worklife being driven by client demands as a designer, to being a trainer and coach, I found that I was a little lost without the external inputs for how to organize my time. I re-created a “pressure-cooker” environment on my own because that’s how I was used to operating.
It took deliberate focus to create a new way of being, so I could live out my ideal day in reality.
To get to your ideal, it is going to require different patterns; different paradigms; different beliefs (probably about yourself).
What is Your Ideal?
Apply this question to food, eating, money, time, relationships, your body.
When you can clearly identify your ideal, then you’ll be more intrinsically motivated to follow through on yourself.
I hear a lot of people talk about how hard things are and how efforts haven’t worked in the past. But that is because you were so focused on what you didn’t want. So, what is it that you DO want?
Can you picture your ideal in your mind’s eye?
Use your imagination. Don’t outsource this to what society says you need (which is typically be smaller physically and make more money). Be expansive. Allow desires and possibility. Can you go deeper? What will make you feel most like you?
How to Use this IRL
Grab a piece of paper and see what comes out when you set a timer for 4 minutes. Just write.
What is your ideal body?
What is a physical trait you’ve always admired in yourself you want to keep? How does your ideal body move? What are you capable of? How do you talk to this version of yourself? What shape are you? What are you proud of?
What about your ideal relationship with food and eating?
What do you eat? What do you enjoy? Is cooking easier for you or taken care of by someone else? Do you know more about the science of food? Do you want to think about it less or more? What gives you energy?
What is your ideal day?
How do you spend your mornings? Your afternoons? Your evenings? Who are you with? What are some things that are nonnegotiable for you every day? What’s missing? What’s already great?
This is an activity I do with my clients and for myself. Writing things down is like a compass for your subconscious.
This is not an exercise in criticizing or attacking your current situation. It’s not about being negative toward yourself or focusing on what’s “wrong” or needs to be “fixed.” It’s not about time management and “are you maximizing your day?” It’s not about “I should be farther along.” No self-attack allowed.
Let go of the habit of beating yourself up.
Instead, focus on what you want.
This process is to help you articulate what you that! Expand your imagination to actually include the things that are deeply meaningful and important to you.
We’re really good at pointing all the things lacking in our lives. Where you can visualize and acknowledge and encourage what will make you rejoice?
Perfect vs. Ideal
Notice that the card says, “perfect” but I’m using the word ideal. Perhaps it’s semantics, but I think a quest for perfect kinda sets us up for failure because it doesn’t exist. Things happen, they always do.
This isn’t about everything always going to plan (which is a laughable statement), more so it is about claiming the life, the health, the body you want and moving toward that each and every day.
Everyone needs support. I realize we live in a pull-yourself-up-from-your bootstraps society and it’s considered a weakness to ask for help, but that is pure BS. Nobody does anything totally on their own.
We’re wired for connection and human interactions, especially when we’re doing something new and different. Working with a coach is wise and useful and worth the investment in yourself, especially for your health.
There’s so much value in partnering with someone; it’s almost impossible to quantify the longterm impact.
Working with me means you’ll have tools and lifestyle changes that are forever. I don’t do quick fixes because we are building up your balance and strength (mentally and physically) in a way that sticks with you — because it is about YOU and not some plan I say you have to do.
One of my favorite testimonials is from a client who said, “This time I knew it would be different.” She finally isn’t perpetually dieting and has a plan that is uniquely hers.
If you’re ready for your ideal to become your reality, then message me. I have a 1:1 coaching program, a mini-package called Your Vitality Plan and I do personal training at Freedom Fitness in St. Charles County.
If you’re curious, but not sure, then hit reply and we can chat. I don’t do sales calls — if it’s a good fit, we’ll both know. If not, then we can be friends. 😁
May you let go of the habit of beating yourself up. May you focus on what is deeply meaningful. May you ask for help. May your ideal make you rejoice.
Check out the WoW (Workout of the Week) Playlist. There are a variety of workouts, some with weights and some interval, and I added a new one this week for recovery and stretching.