This one is a difficult topic. I wrote three versions. Normally, I feel my way through a message and it flows. I’ll edit, move things around, read it out loud, but when there’s something I want to share with you, it naturally comes out.
I start with the end in mind, asking “what is the main point I want you to come away?”
So, here goes… this is the main theme:
It’s possible to love your body as it is.
It’s possible to love your body as it is.
It’s possible to love your body AS. IT. IS.
I used to grab the fat on my belly in disgust. I used to want to be smaller. I used to be ashamed of my thighs and only wore long shorts.
Then I decided to stop judging myself. I decided to love my belly. I decided I was already the perfect size. I wore the shorts I wanted. I surrendered to myself.
That feels so “woo woo” as I write it (and maybe this one is hard one to share because it’s really personal)… There was a night were I listened to music and sent love to my physical being — the varicose veins on my shins, the cellulite above my knees, the roll on my stomach. All these parts of me that society says are ugly.
I fully accepted myself.
And after that I never, ever talked bad about myself.
A strange thing happened with this self-acceptance that I didn’t expect.
I treated myself better. My body responded better to my workouts and I saw results I hadn’t before. I did the things that were hard (water and sleep). I attribute it to this idea that, “you can’t hate yourself into a version you love.” Maybe you don’t hate yourself. But let’s expand the word “hate” to “any disparaging statement.”
Everyone, I mean everyone, has insecurities. It’s impossible to escape it in a culture obsessed with youth and unattainable, (because it’s fake) doctored images of physical beauty.
I’m curious, how many times in a day do you say something negative about your body? It doesn’t even have to be hateful or ugly, but how many time are you arguing for your limitations?
“I can’t. It won’t. It’s hard. I’m not coordinated. I’m weak. I have this injury and I can’t do that. My arms are this. My legs are that. I can’t lose weight. My hormones are whack. I don’t have any willpower.”
Your body will always follow what your mind says. What you say and think turns into how you live and how you’re treated and how you treat yourself.
How about this quote: “The beatings will stop when morale improves.”
But it doesn’t work that way. You’ll never feel motivated to truly take care of yourself or prioritize yourself or feel successful, if you don’t love and accept yourself first. This doesn’t mean you sit around and eat whatever you want and never move and “think” yourself to health.
But life is way more fun when you’re not judging (obsessing about) everything and being so hard on yourself.
What would it mean to look in the mirror and smile?
What would it feel like to give yourself compliments?
How freaking cool would it be to stop worrying about your body and just enjoy it?
You don’t have to wait until you reach a certain weight or size. You can do this now. Today. It’s a practice to learn how to catch and release the messages of self-attack (big or small).
Ideally, I’d love to have you in the Let Go of Judging Challenge I’m doing that starts tomorrow, April 17. It goes for a week and we’re going to talk about body image as part of it. But even if you don’t join us, try the mirror test for today — any time you walk past a mirror, smile at yourself.
Let me know how that goes!!! Send me an email and tell me what that experience was like.
And if you want to sign up, there’s still time, hit reply and say, “Let’s do it!” Every day, you’ll get an email with a different theme related to letting go of judgment. There will be a live meditation at noon central time in my Facebook group (I’ll also send an email with a link). Plus, I’ll share a handy tracker worksheet to use through the week.
At the end of this time, you’ll be a pro at letting go of judgment, especially of your body and others, too! You’ll be more motivated to take care of yourself and have a greater sense of calm, joy and fortitude in your daily life.
Thank you for letting me write/talk about a sensitive subject. In a lot of ways, I think we feel alone in how to overcome insecurities about body image. It’s easy to find people to complain and lament with, but it’s not very common to find examples of people being happy in their own skin without it seeming egotistical.
I also think this topic is coming up for me as I’m aging and seeing more wrinkles and gray hairs and gravity at work. 😜 I’m much closer to 50 than 40 and I don’t want to be crabby about it. I want to see each day that passes as a gift, not a marker of something lost. This challenge is coming at the perfect time for me, too. 🥰
May you stop arguing for your limitations. May you feel gratitude and pride in your body. May you believe it is possible to love yourself as you are.
💜 Please forward this to anyone you think would enjoy or benefit from doing the challenge.
💜 If you want to read any past emails about the challenge, they’re here:
What does judging really have to offer?
💜 Thank you, if you’ve already signed up!!