Hustle. Keep moving and shaking. Just go for it. Stay the course. If you make a mistake, shake it off and move on.
But wait, there’s power and knowledge in stopping and assessing.
The question is, are you thought looping and stuck in shame or are you trying to gain knowledge and wisdom to chart a different course?
I find this trickery happens with my clients when they’ve eaten all the pizza or when they get too busy to work out — all that happens is the thought looping.
… you know what I mean, right? When you’re sort of beating yourself up and you care but you don’t care. You start rationalizing what happened. You find justifications.
To me, that’s a waste of time.
I had a really good coach ask me to provide an assessment after I launched Be the Boss last year. She asked:
What felt great?
What felt bad?
What were my thoughts?
Where did things go well?
Where did things go sideways?
Assess, Assess, Assess!!!!
This is about getting to know yourself better. Not about making excuses for patterns of behavior.
Start with the facts.
“I ate 3 pieces of pizza.”
There’s no connotation there. In a court of law, it could be admissible as fact.
Can you then assess WITHOUT judging and blaming? Step back and play the tape of the experience, almost like watching in third person.
What was happening? Who were you with? How did those people make you feel? Were you harmonious or out of sorts?
Did your actions make you feel in congruence with yourself?
This is a yes or no answer.
Super tough to answer yes or no because we want to provide all the nuances and justifications.
The truth is at some level you wanted the pizza.
But you’re not supposed to want the pizza because you’re trying to lose weight.
There’s always a thing beneath the thing. Maybe you didn’t want to miss out on eating with your family. Maybe you wanted to “break the rules.” Maybe you were tired of vegetables. Maybe you wanted a food escape.
We are getting SOMETHING out of every decision we make. So, can you analyze what’s that something you’re getting out of it??
I Choose Busy Work Over My Dreams
Personally, one of my biggest struggles is with choosing busy work and tasks over big visionary projects/goals. Every day, we have the choice to spend it checking stuff off the list that needs to be done or we can make headway with our dreams.
I’m always bumping up this paradigm: Must. Be. Productive. Check. Check. Check. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
But I have things I want to do. Big things… I’d love to write a book; have my Boss health coaching and exercise program run regularly and seamlessly; grow personal training and group classes at Benifit Fitness; finish my NASM Certified Nutrition Coach program; do another certification in hormones.
But often I sit down at my desk and get caught up in the busy work. It’s like cheesy, melty, warm pizza to me. Check. Check. Check. It’s yummy while it’s happening, but then at the end of the week, my dreams are like “hey girlfriend, what about us???”
So, it’s time to assess!!! Process objectively what’s going on and come up with a new plan.
From a practical perspective, I’m going to play around with a new system of organizing my day instead of one massive to do list that I treat sort of like buffet. We all know how icky we feel after a buffet right? 😝
First off what are 1-2 things I can do every day that will make me feel (cause we’re always seeking a feeling): PROUD • HARMONIUS • CENTERED • TRUSTING
These are the things that require some magic and vision.
Then what are the Indisputables – these are the tasks that are tied to a deadline.
Then there are Moveables – the busy work, but maybe not specific to that day.
I’m going to move completed tasks into their own section, so I can see how often I’m choosing the things that feel good to check off in the moment, but don’t support my dreams.
I also like to start off my day managing my thoughts and to go back to this throughout:
It’s safe for me to focus on my dreams.
I have as much time as I need.
Nothing gets in the way of my ambition; not habits, ego or the villain’s voice.
This will be especially useful when I sit down and oh man, I’m going to want to go to those simple tasks and get that dopamine hit. 🍕🍕🍕
Keep Assessing and Shifting
I think there’s this idea that once you figure something out that “works” that it never should change, especially with food. But our worlds are always changing, right?
So, <<First Name>>, keep assessing. Keep shifting so that what matters to you is front and center.
A message I repeat over and over is that we are bombarded with distractions and things that make our lives “easier.” Our phones are little universes that we can access at any point in time. Our jobs expect constant availability. Processed food is the norm and so convenient.
It takes effort to choose to a meaningful, fulfilling life. But you can do it!!!!!
And sometimes, you’re just going to want the pizza. Sometimes, I’m going to need the day where it’s easier and more rewarding to be productive (or maybe not even follow my to do list and do whatever… I’m such a rebel!!! lol).
But when those days happen, I’m not going to thought loop about it. I’m not going to go over and over in my mind. A good trick I learned to release that is to hold a tennis ball in your hand and put your arm out and then drop the ball.
The ball is your thoughts. Let it go. Assess objectively. Process the experience. Then let it go. Here’s to choosing your dreams!!
May you make time to assess. May you keep shifting and growing. May you live in congruence.
Many hugs,
Laura
… if you find that you aren’t following through on yourself after you assess and come up with a new plan, maybe it’s time to consider asking for help. You don’t have to do it all on your own. Hit reply or click the button the below! I want to hear about your dreams!!
