Every day I choose to live from a place of hope.
Every day I choose to not let my insecurities define me.
Every day I choose to love what makes me ~ myself.
My mom fell at the gym yesterday. She was embarrassed and apologized. But why? Gravity did what it was supposed to.
Why was this moment of “weakness” something to say sorry about or feel bad for?
Do you let your insecurities rule you?
I love this video by Lizzo from the Sunday Morning show. At about the 15 min mark, she talks about how she learned to love her insecurities. Watch the video.
This line really resonated with me… “love her insecurities.”
Do you love your insecurities? Your “weaknesses?”
Or are you constantly fighting against them?
Indignant, angry, defensive, embarrassed… full of shame?
Why???????
Why are we so afraid of being weak?
What are we making these weaknesses mean?
For Lizzo, her “weakness” of being fat was something she has reframed into one of being beautiful.
Two nights ago, I had a dream someone called me a hippo (yes, in relation to my body). A couple days ago, I was talking with a friend who is very pretty and weighs about 110 lbs and she said, she feels “bloated and gross.”
All these variations of the word “fat” only have power because we’re making them mean it is a weakness (because society tells us that; which is an issue in itself).
But what if we choose to live from a place of hope instead? How is that possible? First off it starts with facing what we’re afraid of.
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I made a list of my insecurities and weaknesses, then I ranked them 1-5 based on which one I was most ashamed of. I could tell when something was a 1 (the most intense for me to face) because I felt a rush of negative emotions.
I had about 2 pages worth in my journal and I contemplated sharing all of them, but I’m just going to jump to the big one – the one that I have to deal with every single day.
[drumroll]
My creativity is my biggest weakness.
Ok, you’re probably not understanding why I feel so vulnerable sharing that, so let me explain.
I have few businesses to run and a household with two kids. There’s a mountain of never-ending responsibilities that come from that simple sentence.
My biggest fear is that if I truly followed my creative side, I would be an utter hot mess. Nobody could depend on me. I have this misguided idea that my creative side would color all day with Cash, write poems, cook food just because and generally forget and ignore my responsibilities in favor of meandering through life looking at cloud shapes in the sky.
What about my deadlines?
What about the laundry?
As I write this to you, it kind of makes me laugh because I see the ludicrousness of it. By squashing and fearing something that is the very essence of me, I’m living from a place of fear every day. I think that is why it has been a journey for me to reclaim my sense of joy and wonder.
I’m making that insecurity MEAN something – specifically; creative people don’t have their shit together.
I’m so afraid of not having it together… of not getting things done. Of being too artsy and weird and “out there.”
But yet, my creativity is also my biggest asset. As I’ve come to this realization, I see how I use it all the time in my life and not just my work. And it feels so. damn. good.
My mom said she fell because she is older. She’s seeing this as a weakness. BUT I see her being older as someone who can still give me guidance from a place of experience, who can tell me stories about what it was like to be a woman in the 60s, who is the absolutely the best Nee Nee (her nickname) to her grandchildren – her age isn’t her biggest weakness – it is her strongest ASSET!!
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What would be it feel like to not be afraid? What would it feel like to make decisions from a place of instinct and not, “I don’t want to seem weak.”
Your weakness is a made up construct in your mind. You are deciding that:
“______________ [insert insecurity] is making me weak.”
Is being fat making Lizzo weak?
Is my creativity making me weak?
Maybe in some people’s eyes… maybe Lizzo would have better blood pressure? Maybe I would have a better sense of time. But I think that really my creativity is my greatest strength.
You can’t grow if you’re stuck in shame. You can’t hate yourself into a version you can love.
If you can’t see your weakness or insecurities as your greatest asset, can you at least make peace with it? Can you let go of the embarrassment, the indignation, the anger? Can you come to love it or at least treat it like you were talking to a sweet three year old?
I challenge you to face this. It’s worth the rumble. Hope is so much more enjoyable than fear.
- Write down your insecurities
- Rank them 1-5 with 1 being the hardest to face; pick one to focus on then…
- Ask yourself:
What am I making these insecurities mean?
Can I decide to give them a different meaning?
What am I most afraid of? - Develop a performance or anchoring statement around it to help with reframing. Think about it, use it every day. Stick with something that is affirmative without using “not.” (Writing these happens to be a strong point of mine).
- Allow your decisions to come from a place of hopeful instinct rather than fear and weakness.
- Be aware and practice this every day.
I love questioning why we think certain ways. I love being curious about why we make decisions or why something results in the emotion it does. Our feelings are always, always what’s fueling our perspectives and decision-making. We think we’re rational humans, but there’s always so many layers.
If you want someone to talk to about your insecurities or weaknesses; how you’d like to grow… how you can move to a place that is more joyful and hopeful. Then contact me and we can talk about it in a FREE breakthrough session.
Now that I think about it… I believe it’s my creativity that makes me a good coach! ?
Here’s to always being curious!
Many hugs,
Laura
TLDR:
Can you begin to love your insecurities?
- Watch this video with Lizzo (especially at the 15 min mark)
- You can’t grow from a place of shame. You can’t hate yourself into a version you can love.
- Is it possible that your greatest weakness is actually your strongest asset?
- Want to walk through this with someone ~ let’s do a complimentary session!
