When something feels right, it’s interesting how it brings a calm inside. It might not be logical or easy to explain to the outside world, but it just is. I like to have a “theme” for the year; something to anchor me. I struggled a bit to figure out what that was going to be and almost gave up. But when it came to me, I just knew it was right. Crazy enough, the word has been popping up EVERYWHERE (which actually is because of our reticular activating system).
My theme for 2018 is Bliss.
And not for the reasons you think.
Last year was about being brave and questioning and recognizing that I wanted something to change. It takes a lot to push from an internal force to do something different versus an outside catalyst. It was scary. I made this website. I didn’t die, but I was brave along the way in putting myself out there.
This year is about action. But not just for the sake of doing. Pleasing for the sake of pleasing. BLISS is about consciously claiming what state I want to live in.
Life is never perfect. Although I can say I don’t feel like I have much to complain about, but that hardly matters anymore. We all have such high expectations for a friction-free life that we get pissy when there’s a bump in the road. From technology glitches to traffic, PIA people or hyper kids, we’re battered by the demands of the outside world and schedules that have no white space (I had to deliberately put that in mine… so hard!). It’s a barrage of stimulation, with little time for stillness.
Survival in suburbia can sometimes mean when do I get to have a glass of wine and is it bedtime yet?
Those outside circumstances aren’t going to change for the most part, and I’m fine with that. I’m grateful for it on so many levels. There’s lots of really good stuff in my life on a daily basis! The question isn’t so much about overhauling your total existence, as it is letting in some more joy, fun, laughter, silliness… or whatever brings you {fill in the blank}.
I ask you, right now, at this very moment. How do you WANT to FEEL?
You cannot always get rid of the demands of the physical world around you. You can:
- control your inputs (curate facebook so it feeds good stuff)
- actually tell people they can’t be mean or ugly to you
- don’t hang out with people who are icky
- get enough sleep
- drink water
- eat nourishing foods
- spend time with friends
BUT, these are all outwardly focused. What about what’s happening in your mind and heart? Are you willing to go there? Do you do a status check there?
In being BRAVE I faced the ugliness of what I was saying to myself every day. The reality I created in my mind that there was some imaginary line I would cross and all of a sudden be content. And say “this is where I’m supposed to be.” And then rainbows would shoot out of my ears and life would be perfect. Um, no, sorry.
We’re hyper aware of when others or the world are causing an injustice TO us.
But what about the injustice you are doing to yourself?
What is your state of mind?
I’m choosing the word BLISS, not because I’m going to run around throwing flowers and glitter on people (although that would be fun). I’m choosing it because it’s active. It is a state of mind. I want to choose how I feel, even when doing hard things — actually, especially in the midst of doing something hard. I have already found myself in situations with my kids and with work in which my normal response would be to:
kids = yell
work = procastinate or say yes, when there’s no way in H-E double L, I can actually accommodate the request
The action part of being Blissful gut checks me in those moments.
That awareness we’re so fond of when complaining about others is now turned inward. Instead of mindlessly responding, I’m managing my state of mind. Actively choosing how I want to feel even though the circumstances were frustrating. Most of those moments are fleeting, but the tension remains for much longer afterward. Boo to that!
And for me, standing up for myself is the hard thing, as I will almost always choose the route that doesn’t rock the boat. I like seeing other people happy, even at my own expense, so lest you think this is about just “sucking it up,” it isn’t… my coach says I’m not a very good complainer. =) If it doesn’t bring me BLISS, I’m going to say something (which will be a work in progress).
BLISS is about choice. And permission.
BLISS is about releasing ~
shame, grief, misery, sorrow, fear
knowing the it will bubble up
but I’m ok with that. It’s life. And my brain is trying to keep me safe.
Sometimes it will be about buying sparkly nail polish or putting music on while doing dishes; taking a deep breath when shit is going sideways.
The point is I am actively choosing to turn inward, being guided by my own compass, so I’m clear about what I want and how I want to feel. The desire for change doesn’t actually come from wanting a different circumstance, it comes from wanting how we FEEL to be different.
If you know how you want to feel, then you are more likely to change the circumstance (not the other way around). So, that means I’ll be choosing BLISS. Cause your *healthy* dose of reality is that you can choose. So….
What about you?
