I’ve decided I’m going to live every day as if it was my birthday! It was actually my birthday on March 5 and I was so nice to myself. I gave myself permission to do some healing through a breathwork class. I left some things undone without berating myself. And mostly, I let love in.
I soaked up every greeting, every good wish, phone call, happy vibe, all the presents, and especially the gift of time that people gave me.
So, when I say I’m going to live every day like it’s my birthday, I don’t mean that I expect to goof off all day or be showered with brightly wrapped packages.
It means that I’m going to revel in the moments of joy – pure receiving of the good stuff – without the deflection that sometimes comes with compliments or happy times.
Here’s some practical ways to let love in every day:
Do you bat down compliments people give you?
“Oh, this old thing!” or “You look great, too!” What would it feel like to you to just take in the compliment? You don’t deflect or minimize or try to reciprocate. Just let it land and take it in.This is actually really hard for me. Compliments make me squirm a bit. Learning how to receive and just say thank you can be difficult, especially if you grow up in the Midwest where you’re taught to be humble. Next time someone gives you a compliment, pay attention to your natural response.
Do you need to earn your joy?
Meaning can you only relax IF you’ve done x, y, and z? And usually a, b, and c, too… and then it’s squeezed in at the end of the day or some other pocket of time without even getting your full energy or focus. You ARE NOT a heart surgeon. You can experience pleasure and happiness without having to prove your worth or that it’s a special occasion.I have post on this so, read that here. To me, this is essentially feeling wholeness inside. It means that I’m more than the roles I take on in the world as mom, wife, daughter, entrepreneur, etc.). It’s what makes me Laura. So, what makes you, YOU?
There is time for both obligations and joy in every single day. Can you prioritize it? Can you honor that side of yourself? Can you get off social media? Sign up your kid for one less sport? Stop overpromising to others? Can you commit to yourself?
Let yourself feel special.
I’m so afraid of being a narcissist, of being egocentric in my decisions, of wanting something that ultimately takes away from others. I think if you’re only on my list and are reading this you probably have a similar perspective. One thing I’ve learned is that it’s possible to feel special without implying that I’m going to fall into the abyss of self-centeredness.
Letting myself feel special really means that I love all facets of my personality without judgment. It has way more to do with how I’m treating and talking to myself than it does in demanding how others treat me. On my birthday, I suspended asshole brain. I didn’t let nemesis thoughts in. It was pretty freaking fabulous.
Can you put asshole brain in time out? A moratorium on judging yourself?? Sabotaging thoughts are so sneaky. According to this Psychology Today article, mental chatter,” so to speak—is mostly (up to 70%) negative, a phenomenon that could be referred to as negativity dominance.”
This is easier said than done, but again it goes back to awareness. Perhaps start paying attention to your thoughts. And then incorporate healing practices that can help to shift from a negative pattern of thinking to a way of living that knows how to process, handle and choosing to feel special. Coaching really helps with this, hint hint. ?
Let other people take care of you / ask for help.
On my birthday, my husband made dinner and I sat on the couch with a glass of wine and read a novel at 5:00 pm!! It felt SO odd. I love to cook, so it’s not something that feels like a chore to me, but it was kinda fun to be take care of. And I didn’t do the dishes, either!! Gasp!
I’m a “I’ll do it myself” kind of person, so sitting still while others were working is not my instinct, but it’s something I’m going to be open to. Where in your life can you ask for help? Can your kids do more chores? Hire a house cleaner. Maybe it’s time to review the division of labor with your spouse or partner.
Eat with joy (not sabotage).
Overindulgence is usually a part of celebratory experiences. I like to party! I drink alcohol and enjoy food and merriment. It was nice on this occasion to have some of all of the above without feeling yucky later in the evening or the next day. I didn’t use my birthday as a time to say, “screw it,” I’m going to have 14 cupcakes and 9 pieces of pizza – I honored what works for my body.
I still had wine and a gluten free cupcake, savoring all the flavors!!If you live every day with lots of food restrictions, then indulge on a “special day,” what gift are you really giving yourself? If you choose to live a certain way, then shouldn’t your special day mirror that?
Every day should be a representation of what works for your body and makes you feel good. For me that is water, real food and tasty flavors! What’s something that you only “let” yourself have on special occasions? Can you enjoy that with no guilt on a random Tuesday? Why not?
Going forward…
I’m not expecting anyone to sing to me every day or get lots of Facebook messages with happy greetings. But what I did learn from turning 45 was that it’s ok to let love in. And to do it in a way that isn’t focused on “when is the other shoe going to drop” (that’s foreboding joy, again, check out this link and then scroll down to watch a video by Brené Brown.
A shift in perspectives to let good things come into my life without deflecting them or questioning if I’m worthy or if I earned it.
That dang cliché of “life’s too short,” is so true. We could wake up tomorrow and it could be our last day. So, soak up the love. Let it in. Create your joy – be open to those moments of happiness, especially the small ones. Let yourself feel them freely and deeply without any negativity; as if every day was your birthday.
Many Hugs,
Laura
TLDR (that stands for Too Long Didn’t Read, btw)
- I still have some hour-long Birthday Breakthrough Sessions available! I’m offering them for $45.00 in honor of my 45th Birthday! If you’re interested, just hit reply!
- Live every day like it’s your birthday:
- Let compliments land without deflecting them!
- Let people help you!
- Let yourself feel special!
- Let love in…
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I help stressed out working professionals stop destructive habits and be healthier and more joyful, so you can make lasting changes and achieve goals, even if you are busy. I do this through one-on-one coaching packages that provide a customized visual gameplan that you can actually use. Just fill out the contact form to talk to me about scheduling a complimentary breakthrough session to get started on your personal plan.
