How are you doing?
I don’t know about you, but it’s hard not to soak up all the energy of this crazy stuff going on in our collective world. Sometimes I feel like an open wound and then I read the news and it’s like pouring salt on the pain.
Ouch. It {meaning everything} hurts.
For me, and I’m not sure if this will make sense to you, but I feel this stress like a low-grade hum in my body. In observing myself, I know… “this is Laura worrying.” As I’m going through the motions of life, I’m aware of it. It goes away when I meditate, workout, dance, have sex, belly breathe, or hug one of my family members. Interestingly, those all require active choice.
Watching TV or eating makes the hum a little lower, but it doesn’t disappear. It gets louder and stronger (the salt dumping faster) when I get on social media or read/listen to the news. These are all passive experiences – things being done TO me. They’re happening, but in essence, they don’t require anything from me.
So, the worry is winning in those cases.
A couple of weeks ago, Cash had a short bout of the flu. I couldn’t sleep because I was worried he was going to die. I’m not a worrier by nature, so I was very aware of how “dire” it all felt. I practice what I preach – which is facing scary emotions, not burying them – I journaled and came away with: I don’t claim worry. I project Love. Yes, Love… with a capital L.
Instead of picturing the worst, I repeated, “I love you, Cash” over and over and envisioned the morning when I would see his sweet smile and he would say something utterly goofy and ask me if he could have candy for breakfast after being sick. Let’s just say we compromised on some crackers and Fortnite the next morning. ?
We can manufacture the utmost despair in our minds?
Why can’t we manufacture the utmost joy?
I’m not suggesting being Pollyanna and unrealistic. I’m not talking about pretending things are perfect when clearly they’re not. I’m definitely not trying to say we should ignore ours and others hurt. People are losing jobs. Some are losing their lives. It is serious.
What I am questioning is this unbearable pessimism in ourselves and our humanity.
Worry is an utterly useless emotion. Totally unproductive. It’s exacerbated right now because:
- There’s SO MANY unknowns for SO MANY people.
- Fear is an emotional contagion – it spreads faster than any virus.
- The brain’s intense focus on our safety makes us obsessed with finding confirmation that we are indeed safe and then freaking out when there’s no definite answer or the possibility that, no, we are not safe right now.
I’m worried about our finances because my biggest creative client put everything on hold. I’m worried about my parents health and other loved ones because they’re in the high risk category. I’m worried about our country and the political divisiveness that’s still at play when what we need is real leadership from both sides. I’m worried my kids will forget how to do math because, well, I love words, not numbers and I’m responsible for teaching them. ?
All of these circumstances manufacture the greatest despair in my mind, heart and definitely in my body.
Worry feels good because it makes us think we’re actually controlling something. It makes us think we’re being productive. If perhaps we can OUTTHINK tragedy, if we can mentally create hazards and disasters, then that will keep them at bay.
But we can never really know why tragedy befalls us. We can point to causes or certain circumstances that led to such a horrible thing, but the actual why? That’s a mystery. The human brain doesn’t like that. We want answers.
Without answers, we worry. Which leads to living a life in fear.
But you – we – deserve so much more than that.
So, what to do? Ask yourself these questions:
- How are you self-soothing?
- How are you taking care of your physical and emotional wellbeing (especially right now)?
- Can you name your worries and your fears?
- How are you taking action?
Self-Sooth
For self-soothing, I recommend something active (see my list above for reference). Breath and movement are so powerful. Human beings were not meant to be so sedentary. Doing any kind of meditation or belly breathing helps gives the cognitive mind a chance to rest. And goodness knows, our brains need it right now.
There’s self-soothing that benefits us in the long run and then there’s things that don’t end up feeling so good. I self-sooth with food. It calms that hum. But it’s out of my integrity to overeat and part of why I got into coaching because didn’t like how out overeating made me feel disconnected from myself. Instead of judging, I was curious what was happening… so now my self-soothing is by CHOICE.
Your Emotional and Physical Well Being
It’s ok to laugh right now. To play. We don’t have to mirror the negativity of the news. It’s hard when you’re empathic and your emotional antennae pick up and pull in all those worst-case scenario frequencies. It’s like walking around with rabbit ears that are tuned into the pain channels of the world.
What does taking care of your emotional and physical wellbeing look like for you right now? How are you processing the stress and the worry? Please don’t pretend like it’s not happening to you. I don’t think anyone is immune to what’s going on from an emotional standpoint.
Naming Your Worries and Fears
This feels scary and perhaps like it’s going to make you feel worse but trust me on this one. Naming them, writing them down, speaking them actually has the opposite effect. It releases them! It’s especially more powerful when you name your fears and then decide what it is that you really want to feel instead.
Take Action
The surest way to feel like shit is to do nothing but think about how you feel. I love emotions. I like analyzing them, questioning why I react this way to some things and then another way to other things. But if you are thought looping over and over, you are choosing to be a victim. Thinking doesn’t bring clarity, action does.
Set an intention then DO something to support that intention.
Here is my intention and action: I’m offering free sessions. My mission is to help people create more joy in their everyday lives by eating healthier and prioritizing time for what makes them happy and fulfilled. I think this is needed more now than ever, so we can be our best selves. We do not have to live in worry. We can recognize, acknowledge the difficult challenges of this time, and we don’t have to be stuck there. You have too much to give and be and experience.
I have tools and experience for managing worry, stress and overwhelm. If you feel stuck here with everything going on, then I’m here for you. I’ve opened up my schedule for some free sessions. We will talk, but we’ll also create a plan for taking action.
We won’t have all the answers. We can’t solve all the problems. However, we can do something for today; for the good of those depending on us, for ourselves and for our futures.
If you need support, then book now by clicking this link to my calendar.
Or even hit reply.
Or I encourage you to spend some time with these questions and do it on your own.
May you and those you love stay healthy. May you not let the worry and panic win. May you find some time to sit in the sun and feel a fresh breeze (what I’m doing as I’m typing this to you). May you reach out for help.
Many hugs,
Laura
TLDR
Worry is an utterly useless emotion.
How are you self soothing?
Where can you take action?
I’m here if you want support, book online.
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I help stressed out working professionals stop destructive habits and be healthier and more joyful, so you can make lasting changes and achieve goals, even if you are busy. I do this through one-on-one coaching packages that provide a customized visual gameplan that you can actually use. Just fill out the contact form to talk to me about scheduling a complimentary breakthrough session to get started on your personal plan.
