I used to have a journal that had an entry for “What will you do today for fun?”
I noticed that I would usually end up leaving this blank. The hours in my day were meant for productivity and crossing off stuff on my list. Laughter, fun and joy weren’t priorities.
Damn, I’ve come so far. How do I know?
Here’s my sparkle list from the last few days:
- Cartwheels in the front yard
- Painted my nails different colors
- Gave myself a milk mustache from my frothy Nutpod coffee foam (btw, the above pic was totally spontaneous, just for the heck of it selfie!) Milk mustaches are funny, right?
- Ate double-chocolate chunk gluten-free zucchini bread for BREAKFAST!!
- Dance workout in my basement that was good enough for Broadway (ha!)
- Deadlifted 115lbs and did 30 reps (yes, this is fun for me, lol)
- Read a book about French cooking
- Took black and white pictures of Long Beans
- Played tag with my youngest son BEFORE school
- Experimented in the kitchen making new, delicious, homemade food
- Played music loudly while getting ready… yes, Lizzo is going to be calling me for back up.
- Wrote this message to you
I also painted the deck, did 8,000 loads of laundry, kids got haircuts, oil was changed, volunteered at school and did hours of productive work for my creative clients and had multiple coaching sessions.
Yes, getting things done is the way we show the world and ourselves that our existence matters. But nobody on his or her deathbed says, “I’m so glad I folded all my underwear, that made a difference in the quality of my life.” Indeed, one of the regrets of the dying “I wish that I had let myself be happier.” https://bronnieware.com/blog/regrets-of-the-dying/
So, how do you get there? To being happier and more joyful?
First, you can’t be afraid to dip into sadness and what’s not working. Are you afraid of admitting there is something in your life you don’t want or wish was different? Are you afraid to face it? Are you afraid you’ll be “stuck there?”
I say it’s necessary to dip in.
There’s a direct correlation to how much joy you can have in your life to how willing you are to face what is making you unhappy.
This is NOT the cliché of “in order to experience joy, you have to understand pain.” No, this is about facing what you are dissatisfied with in your life. Only once you admit, process and deal with the ick inside you, will you begin to make decisions about your life that automatically include joy.
Only once you see yourself as being worthy of feeling all emotions (“good” and “bad”) will you let joy in.
Living in a constant state of to do lists or numbing (ahem, social media) is like being in a bleak neverland, filled with weedy fields of aggravation and a few small ponds of good times ~ maybe you jump in on the weekends or after the field is cleared, but it’s sporadic and not deeply uplifting.
But you’re worthy of a shimmering ocean of joy.
You’re worthy of a forest of happy feelings sheltering you.
This isn’t to say you’ll never experience pain and frustration or have to deal with people who hurt you. But when you have a coach ~ a guide on the side ~ you have someone who can help you create a path to get through it and go beyond.
Here’s what couple of my clients say about working with me:
“Coaching was new to me. Laura is one of the best listeners I have ever met,
so I dove in and what I learned is she not only listens, but is able to process what you say.
This led to several helpful actions that I currently use on a daily basis to help me overcome challenging situations. Laura is caring, insightful, and does not judge – she just helps!” ~ Tom
“I was a skeptic because I don’t believe that ‘positive thinking’ can work when something
is really hard or in my case, with the physical pain I’m dealing with. But Laura led me through
a framework that changed my thinking, so now I feel lighthearted and empowered. She was able to teach me how I can impact my own thought process in a way that will be a lasting change.” ~ Angie
I know how hard it is to face things. I’ve been there. And am there ~ I still have a coach. Right now, I’m working on my master ability to procrastinate (this video is funny and heartwarming), my instinct to hide and not share my work and how to value myself more.
Just the mere mention of the list above can send me into loads of shame and frustration and lots of negative emotion. They feel UNSOLVABLE.
But what if it’s not about solving them or making these things “go away.” Rather, it’s about wanting to process things differently and about believing in myself and my ability to evolve.
“You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” ~ Brené Brown
The brain’s natural response is to resist actively thinking about anything that’s uncomfortable because its job is to keep you safe.
I say, let it bubble up. It isn’t that you don’t want to talk about it, it’s that you don’t want to actively feel the hurt and the pain.
Cause who does?
But, the rumbling is worth it because it isn’t forever. Go through the active part of feeling because if you think by “not talking about it,” you’re not feeling it, you’re wrong.
You’re just passively feeling it.
Your body knows.
Your heart knows.
What if you actually put the weight down, instead of carrying it around and trying to squash it ever deeper inside?
I’m here for you.
I’m not your friend who is going to commiserate for the sake of it.
I’m not your mom or your dad who might have a boatload of opinions, either expressed or not.
I’m not a colleague or a neighbor who might be judging you.
A coach is a totally different relationship.
I’ve started emails to my coach with “Help!” and “Can you give me some accountability with…” I’ve cried to her and I’ve definitely laughed with her. I’ve uncovered things about myself that I couldn’t have done without her. I’ve started this whole other career in coaching NOW instead of waiting (I was gonna do it when I was 50!!! Seriously!!) because of working with her.
Yes, I’ve been super productive since having a coach, but I’ve also realized and come to believe SO fiercely that I’m worthy of joy and laughter and happiness. Every. Single. Day.
Because of my efforts, I know how to process what’s going on in my head and heart.
I am braver.
I am more myself.
I am happier.
That is what I wish for you. I have 3 coaching spots open starting in September. I have helped people with developing new habits, eating healthier, handling overwhelm and dealing with hurt… giving them permission to feel joy in ways they hadn’t allowed before.
Will I be asking you to do cartwheels? Or take a selfie with a milk mustache? Not necessarily. I think there’s a part of me that secretly wishes I were 9 years old, so my joyful activities tend to be more childlike. : )
I’m more interested in the question ~ what do those joyful activities look like for YOU? Do you know? Maybe we can uncover that together. Click here find out the details about my packages.
Now it’s really easy for me to answer that question, “What are you going to do today for fun?” It is a default way of life for me.
Are you ready to create your joyful life? If you’re curious, then let’s talk and see if we’re a good fit. Just hit reply and we’ll go from there.
Now, I’m off to do something sparkly!!!
- Top regrets of the dying (and it isn’t “folding your underwear”)
- What are you doing today for fun?
- There’s a direct correlation to how much joy you can have in your life to how willing you are to face what is making you unhappy.
- Coaching is a really cool relationship, that isn’t really like any other.
- I have 3 spots available in September. Click here for more info or to sign up!!