What if what we’re experiencing is exactly as it was supposed to be?
The pain, too, especially the pain.
Not because of learning how to accept it or because we’re supposed to learn some great lesson (which we probably will).
But simply because that’s what I was always going to experience.
not good or bad
to be accepted or not
all of it
Not to be compared or analyzed, questioned or even healed from. But soaked into every fiber of my being. What if it’s not about choices, but a choiceless surrender to all that is me?
So I can stop flailing about screaming “WHY?” and asking for things to “make sense?” What does that even mean? Do our greatest joys or our greatest sorrows ever really make sense to our hearts? Feelings are an unarticulated language.
A flashback of my life rolls through my mind; cringeworthy moments, times of ecstasy and delight, others of absolute pain and heartbreak.
They are all mine. Exactly as it was to be. Because I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
This doesn’t make it easy.
It just makes it true for me. For now and always.
Such a wonderful release from why.
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